“But you loved her? Yes. And she loved you? Yes. Then why did it end? Because love and compatibility are not always the same thing.”— S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #277
(via blossomfully)
I Remember It All Too Well
"It's not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."
“I am tired,” she says, “and it is so awfully difficult to feel sad and tired when all you want is to feel alive.”— S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #84 (via blossomfully)
“Never lose yourself for anyone.”— x
“It would have been so easy to go back to. So easy to relapse into it. So simple. It would almost feel like going home. To let it consume you. To let it take over. To give into it. It was only a small part of you that stood up and said ‘no’. That said, ‘you’re better than this.’ That said, ‘choose happiness. Even if it’s hard. Even if it’s the hardest choice you’ve ever had to make.’”— Sue Zhao // Relapse
“That summer, we fought until we bled. The love we felt made everything worse. (It’s always worse when feelings are involved.) You couldn’t forgive me for the things I’d done, and I felt myself slowly degrading into an empty shell every time we spoke. This is why I ended things. Not because I stopped loving you. No, when I close my eyes, I still remember how it felt to kiss you. I still remember being in your arms. I still remember lying on your chest and kissing your face and holding your hand. I still remember going on walks - laughing at stupid things - making our own inside jokes. I’ll keep those references within me forever now. I’ll protect them with my heart. They were ours and now they are mine and yours separately. I want you to know that I miss you. Desperately. But that doesn’t negate the fact that I am bad for you. And because I am bad for you, you are also bad for me. I can’t stand to see you hurt. I can’t stand it at all. I can’t be the cause of all of that pain. It tears into everything that I am. So even though I miss you, I won’t say anything. And even though I know we won’t talk, I’ll still hope that you are well and, at the very back of my mind but at the front of my heart, I hope you find the kind of happiness that I couldn’t give you. I love you. I love you. I love you so much.”— Sue Zhao
“For a while, everything ached and then a little voice inside of me said, “Hey, you have to do something other than hurt all the time.“ And I said, “I know. I know. I’m trying.”— Sue Zhao (via blossomfully)
(via blossomfully)
“I knew it hurt him and he knew it hurt me and neither of us could do a thing about it. We sat on the floor trying to fix each other, all the while knowing there was no way we could. We lay with our legs entwined until finally he said, “I love you, right? God knows I fucking love you. But this isn’t working, is it? We’re breaking each other’s heart and it feels like we’re running on borrowed time.“ And I said nothing because he was right and I hated it. I lay there silently, hating the way everything contradicted itself. I lay there and hated it all.”— S. Zhao (via blossomfully)
Q
How do you tell someone you don’t love them anymore?
Anonymous
A
There are many ways to tell somebody you no longer love them.
Some are more passive: you stop saying it back before you hang up the call. You stop saying it back before you walk out the door. Your hugs become more half hearted; your conversations become more mundane. When they ask you if you’re okay, you get annoyed. You brush them off; pretend that everything is fine. Small things end up in huge fights. You can’t bear to watch them cry.
Falling out of love is rarely gentle.
Other ways are more direct. You’ve been thinking about it for a while, but you say nothing until you’re sure. They don’t have a clue. One day, at breakfast, or at dinner, or a week before you’re supposed to go on holiday with their parents, you say “can we talk?” And they look at you through their unassuming eyes, thinking you’re going to tell them about your day but instead, you say “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m no longer in love with you.” And there is silence before there are tears and there is violence in the emptiness until it fades - and then there is just emptiness.
So, there are many ways to tell somebody you no longer love them. But there is no way to do it painlessly.
Especially not if they’re still in love with you.
Ever just have one of those moments where you see something and it feels like someone has punched you in the stomach and it takes you several moments to recover but then you just shrug and go about your life as per because you gotta